WAAAAASSSSSSAAAAABBBBIIIII! Remember those commercials? Never understood them until I started eating Sushi. That's when I discovered wasabi. Man, I love that burn! I can't wait to spread a bit of wasabi on a roll or piece of sushi and start chewing. My eyes get big, my head gets hot, my sinus' clear......super good feeling. Love the taste too! My wife is entertained by it every single time I do it.
I like most hot foods, but at 48 years of age, there are some (NOT VERY MANY) that I just can't eat anymore. Call it, well, educated if you will. I've gotten smarter over time.
So, wasabi......I walked into work this morning and one of the guys that always brings in home-made meats, jerky, sticks, etc.....walks up and tells me he brought some deer sticks in. He had my immediate attention. "Are they hot?" He says no, but, I brought some Wasabi paste to put on them. Now he really has my attention. I don't even make it to my desk to take my jacket off, I just head down to his work area cause I gotta try this stuff. One of the guys that works for me was tagging along saying how good that wasabi was and how good the sticks were.
We get there, and the guy that brought it in tells me the wasabi is the real deal....straight from China! One of our sales guys brought it back for him on his last visit. I'm like, "cool", and proceed to grab a deer stick and the tube of wasabi. He again tells me that it's the real stuff..........and I'm thinking, "Ok, wasabi is wasabi, right?" Not even close.
I squeeze some out of the tube, probably as wide as a pencil and maybe an inch long. The guy that works for me says, "Have fun with that hot stick", and starts walking away. The guy that brought them in is looking at me a little wide eyed, yet, I'm totally oblivious to what is about to take place!
I take a bite.
I get two chews into this and my whole world turns up-side-down! I can no longer breath. Literally! Can't catch a breath at all. My mouth is on fire....not like a burning sensation, but just the same, on fire! I don't know what to do......every time I try and breath, I'm sucking this wasabi stuff directly into my lungs! It begins to rain........from my eyeballs! The snot, that wasn't in my head prior to taking that bite, begins to run from my nose! I'm choking and no one is trying to help! I realize I have to get that stuff out of my mouth, so I do what any normal person would do.......I spit it out!
I'm thinking that this should solve the problem, right? WRONG! The choking feeling gets worse! I never felt like I would vomit, but I never realized how much saliva the human body could generate! I bent over and just started spitting it on the floor. At some point, I wondered how long this was going to last. All day?
Just as quickly as it started, it ended........ok, almost. I finally caught some air, was able to stand up and realized that everyone had left the area! Bastards. I'm sure it was like watching someone fall down.....as funny as it is, you always ask them if they are okay before you start laughing at them. My two co-workers had laughed their way to the other end of the shop. They couldn't breathe either, but for an entirely different reason. Apparently, they thought I was fairly entertaining as well!
As I'm standing there looking at them, through blurry, tear clouded eyes, I realize I have to prove a point. So I grab another deer stick and that tube of wasabi and I go about it a little different this time, knowing "a little dab will do ya." I walk back down to where they are, share a little laugh with them over the whole thing, then show them that I can handle the wasabi and take a bite.
Much better. No gagging, no choking, no tears, no runny nose, no spitting, can still breathe and I get the full bodied taste of the deer stick with the wasabi spread. Much, much better the second time around.
Of course, everyone in the entire office and production area knows that I tried to commit wasabi suicide this morning and are getting a bit of a laugh at my expense, but that's okay. Anything I can do to make their days better!
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